Track erotic walks
Track “erotic” walks
Under normal circumstances, girls will look at the boys who often stare at them, but they may have a lasting distress, filled with self-blame, and are eager to get your understanding.
Boy’s wall readme: As early as in junior high school, I liked a girl in the class.
But the teacher was very strict at that time, no early love was allowed.
Once found, it will definitely be exposed in the class and let you review it in public.
I have been a well-known baby since I was a kid, and of course I dare not take this risk, so I can only think of her silently in my heart, or occasionally glance at her.
Later, we happened to be admitted to the same high school, and we loved her more and more.
Although we are not in the same class, as soon as I touch her, I will look at her secretly.
Several times I wanted to confess to her, but I was afraid to be rejected by her.
This feeling has been hidden in my heart, making me feel uncomfortable, all day long, uncertain, her mind is full of her shadow, inadvertently studying, I also know that this is wrong, self-blame, contradictory mental torment me.
When I was about to enter the college entrance examination, I felt that I was a bit sick. When I saw her, I unconsciously stared at her, like a lost soul, and no matter what other people think, she was frightened. When I saw me,Avoid it.
After going to college, I changed my environment and didn’t see her. I thought I could be easier, but I suddenly found that I became more “lecherous”.
As soon as I met a beautiful girl, I would stare at it, regret it after reading it, and feel that I was shameless, but I couldn’t control my eyes, and in the end it developed into an initiative to look for beautiful girls.
I hate myself and dare not make friends, and my classmates think I am a freak.
There is a girl in the class who treats me very well, and sometimes I am lost in class.
If she forgets to take notes, she will lend me her notes and chat with me, persuading me to speak out of my troubles.
I dare not get too close to her, fearing that she knew I was inferior and embarrassed after knowing my secrets, so sometimes she would rudely reject her kindness.
I am very distressed now, I dare not look up when I walk, and I dare not look into each other’s eyes when talking to others.
The classmates around are so happy, enjoying their life and love.
But I am in pain and cannot extricate myself, what should I do?
When can I remove the shadow of my heart?
Analysis of the Special Zone: From the story of A Qian, it seems that this is indeed a distressing thing that makes A Qian “anxious”.
After reading his story, I believe that many people will leave such an impression in his head: A wall is a lascivious person, just as a young man, there is nothing wrong with pursuing beauty and beautiful love, like to look beautifulGirls can’t be overstated.
But there must be a “degree” in everything. I love to see A Qian’s uncontrollable eyes. It is not enough to always “stare” and even actively look for beautiful girls. It is indeed abnormal.
It doesn’t matter whether you understand him or not. It seems that such “misconduct” should not have any connection with a knowledgeable and educated college student.
No wonder A wall would be so distressed that he would not dare to contact the girl, for fear that the girls who deal with him would think he was indecent and embarrassing.
Imagine, which beautiful girl meets such a young guy who always stares at himself and doesn’t think he is “lecherous”?
However, the mystery we want to uncover is, is he really “lecherous”?
Why did he behave so abnormally?
What embarrassment lies behind his lasciviousness?
Psychological tracing: Why is he “lecherous”?
The source of the trouble: dirty clothes. In the consulting case I contacted, I was impressed by a female college student who was afraid to make a boyfriend.
She loves “cleanness” and feels that it is not hygienic to contact with any part of the body (including two people holding arms), so she does not dare to call her boyfriend, or dare to get too close to other people’s bodies . thisThe seemingly strange and difficult psychological case was later found and explained the source of its psychological response.
It turned out that when she was 7 years old, she took a bath in the public bath with her mother. After washing, in the locker room, she was sitting on the dirty clothes to be washed without changing clothes.
The mother slaps her and said sternly: “Sitting like this will get an infectious disease!
“He was startled and burst out.
It seems that after this incident, in more than one decision, she began to become more and more “unusual”.
The past, which she had forgotten, finally surfaced after many conversations.
The bathing incident was linked to her dare not to make a boyfriend through psychological “generalization” and psychological “transfer”, and became the culprit of her dare not to make a boyfriend.After careful analysis, she finally realized the psychological roots of her abnormal behavior, and the psychological tension was greatly reduced. Finally, she finally returned to normal.
From this point of view, each mental state has its own origin and development.
So, how is the relationship between Aqian’s crush in junior high school and staring at beautiful girls later?
Why is he so lascivious?
The source of the evil: instead of secretly crushing a father-loving daughter, he may choose a man of the same type as his father as a husband when he grows up: a person who lost his lover due to an accident may choose a local feature that accompanies his hometown to love his loverLovers; a fanatical group of star chasers who have “discharge” feelings in the life around the opposite sex accompanied by idol appearances.
Including A Wall’s development from the same class girls in secret love middle school to always like to see beautiful girls, these seemingly unrelated things actually have common psychological roots.
The “psychological defense mechanism” proposed by the founder of the psychoanalytic school, Freud, can be explained.
Some impulses and desires that are intolerable or unfulfillable for social morality will be suppressed into unconsciousness in an indeterminate way, making people unable to perceive their existence. This mechanism is called “depression”.
The suppressed urges and desires no longer disappear, and they remain active in the unconscious.
It’s like a person is suffering from an eye disease, so a pair of sunglasses is used to hide it, so that it cannot be seen, but the eye disease no longer disappears.
Sometimes, depressive urges and desires will “make a makeover” and show up later, this is “replacement.”
The object of replacement is like a “scapegoat” of suppressed impulses and desires, bearing the emotions that were not originally their own.
A wall psychological depression is a secret love emotion that cannot be realized when adolescent sexual psychology begins to sprout. Later, the admiration object of that year has already “disappeared”, and the repressible emotion no longer disappears, leaving a “sequelae”.”I always like to stare and look for pretty girls, not enough to look at.
At this point, “replacement” has occurred.
This psychological replacement is just a strong emotion and impulse that cannot be expressed by someone and something, and after things have changed, they are transferred to other objects.
Because A Qian ‘s sexual psychology is immature, his understanding of sex may have a radical “guilt” color, so if he has been suppressed for too long, his mentality and behavior will gradually become weird, and he will unknowingly develop to make himFeeling uncontrollable obsessive-compulsive behavior, and strong fears accompanied by mild social horror.
The manifestation of its compulsive behavior is that it feels that it should not be that pretty girl, but it is always involuntary to “stare” at not enough, or even to control its own eyes, always looking around.
The serious anxiety of mild social horror is manifested as “rejecting the kindness of classmates”, walking afraid to look up, talking to people and not looking at each other’s eyes.
Can’t extricate myself in pain . “Wait.
This shows that A wall is not really “lecherous.”
”Erotic” background: Personality has found the psychological roots of A Wall’s pain and worry. It is surprising that it is still incomprehensible that all people with adolescent psychological depression will have the same troubles of A Wall?
Can not help but think of two examples.
A male, more than 30 in first class, married and have children, happy life.
In junior high school, A man has a strange habit. Every time when he enters the classroom or finishes the transition of the teacher’s question on the podium, when he returns to his seat, he always glances at a few beautiful girls in the class.
In his opinion, this may be a sweep of “I do n’t know, no ghost”, but in fact, he is far from the “eyes of fire” that escaped many classmates. Therefore, the students joked that it is difficult for A to have different “color eyes”, andAlways make fun of him.
A was also ashamed, but he couldn’t change that strange habit for a while.
Fortunately, A is naturally cheerful, and over time, he does not take the “cold irony” of his classmates, and sometimes even taunts himself.
The puberty passed smoothly. A man later worked, got married, and lived a happy life. His original strange habits gradually disappeared without any psychological or behavioral abnormalities.
The fact of B male is very different.
In the psychological clinic, the male B always cannot control his eyes. When talking to the opposite sex or the other side, he always cannot help but look at the sensitive parts of the chest and lower body of the other person.Communication was diagnosed as OCD and social phobia.
Checking its roots, it turned out that at the age of 6, B had seen a foreign actress wearing a bikini in an album, and was very impulsive at that time. He always liked to collect such pictures.
B males are introverted. When things go wrong, they always like to dig into the horns and pursue perfection, so they often condemn themselves as “indecent.”
However, every time he can change his behavior, he always involuntarily has to peek at some “sensitive” parts of the other party when he is in contact with the opposite sex.
B man feels shameful, but he can’t control his eyes, and even develops into obsessive-compulsive disorder and social phobia. He recovers in the psychological clinic after months of professional counseling and treatment.
The story of male A and male B begins very similarly, both of which are reasonable behavioral behaviors that appear during adolescent psychological germination (although they are divided from most people, they are still a bit excessive).
However, the outcome of the two people’s final development is very different, one is a normal person living a happy life, and the other suffers from a mental illness.
Why is this so?
Psychologically, the important reason for their different endings is their different “personality”.
The concept of “personality” in psychology has been transformed into a personality that we have put forward in the sense of moral character for a long time. Here, “personality” is the sum of the psychological characteristics of a person whose personality is the main body.
For example, A males are open-minded and open-minded, and they are less attentive when they are in trouble; B males are introverted and are more prone to horns when they are in trouble. These are the manifestations of their different personalities.
The most important reason why A Wall is distressed for his “lechery” is that his personality is imperfect.
These can be found in the roots and imprints of their growth experience.
For example, parents and teachers are too strict in education, self-demanding is too demanding, they are too demanding to be perfect, and they are very concerned about the evaluation of others around them.
All these are contributing to the current suffering of A Wall, and it is exactly the pain behind his “lechery”.
Solve the “erotic” immature sexual psychology, leading to the psychological roots of their own problems and imperfect personality, A wall surrounded the inexorable circle of “erotic” pain.
He had to save himself, but also him, so A wall struggled in pain and sought help from people.
Definitely self-help or he saved himself. In the end, A-Qiang had to step out of the “sexy” weird circle. He had to overcome himself to overcome pain.
The first trick is to take the natural view of love, sex, sound psychology, and eliminate sexual guilt between men and women.
I like to look at beautiful girls. After reading, if I can look like a cloud of smoke, I do n’t think about what I just saw. Do n’t always regret it, blame yourself, hate yourself for shamelessness, and you wo n’t develop to control yourselfEyes, but can’t control their eyes.
It is recommended that A Wall read Fromm’s book “The Art of Love”, not only to learn to love and be loved, but also to understand that the opposite sex love between men and women is inherently beautiful.
Everyone has the heart of beauty. The boy’s love and the girl’s Huaichun are very beautiful feelings. There is no need to blame, regret, and hate oneself.
See and see, learn to recognize your own behavior, do not care too much.
In this way, the natural process will be reduced, the psychological anxiety and tension will be gradually reduced, the compulsive behavior will be relieved, and the mentality will naturally be restored to health.
The second trick is knowing yourself.
The most valuable thing for a person is to be able to know himself, psychological problems and even mental illnesses are not terrible. Only by recognizing where your problems are, can you prescribe the right medicine and cure the disease.
A wall is currently facing two problems related to mental illness, namely compulsive behavior and anxiety accompanied by mild social horror.
Coercive behavior is not uncommon. Even people who are usually normal will occasionally have some coercive behavior. Sometimes when they lock the door and walk downstairs, they will not rest assured. They will have to come back and take a look.
I believe many people will have some similar strange behavior, but there is a line between occasional and often.
A wall can’t help but look for the third trick of beautiful girls to enrich their lives and improve their personality.
Excellent personality is the best medicine to resist all psychological problems and mental illness.
There are some shortcomings in A Wall’s personality: such as excessive self-blame, too much attention to other people’s evaluations and views on themselves, and other issues such as love to dig into the horns.
Therefore, A wall must work hard to improve his personality. The integrity of his personality can only be achieved in a rich life. He has thought behind closed doors all day and isolated himself from the world.
Therefore, carefully arrange your life, integrate yourself into the community, learn to help others, and accept the help of others, and make yourself open-minded, cheerful, and optimistic in the discipline of life.
These worries that will always make the wall texture “lecherous” will certainly become his most precious wealth for life.
With a sound personality, A Wall will one day have a beautiful girl who truly belongs to him.